Finding the Male G-spot

Many people have heard about the infamous female G-spot and, well, believe it or not, the male also has one but it’s not really called a G-spot as such! It’s only referred to as one because it drives most men crazy with desire.

So, where and what exactly is it?

Its proper name is the Prostate gland, and it situated just below the bladder, surrounding the urethra. It’s about the size of a walnut and its main function is to produce, store and secrete a clear fluid that constitutes up to one-third of the volume of semen.  

When this particular gland is stimulated during vaginal or anal intercourse it can intensify a man’s orgasm to the point of distraction. Is it any wonder that they spend so much time on the loo? The Prostate can be reached by insertion of a finger, penis or vibrator and a gentle massage can produce deep and wonderful sexual feelings.

Something of interest lies parallel to how women were medically treated for a condition known as hysteria (see article The History of the Vibrator.) In a similar way, men were also treated back in World War 2 for ‘pelvic congestion’, a disorder brought on by lack of sexual stimulation. Medics then would give prostate massages using a steel device or their fingers to relieve sexual frustrations.

Stimulation of the prostate gland can be either touched whilst the male is fully aroused or can be stimulated to increase erections. Have a heart to heart with your partner to find out just how he prefers his prostate to be stimulated. He may surprise you and say that he would rather you didn’t!

If it turns out he does like his prostate massaged, though, as with anything new or unexplored, care should be taken and individual preferences should be taken into account.

To begin, make sure that you are both are comfortable and use water based lubrication to prevent friction. Ladies, cover one of your fingers with lube and slowly insert it into his rectum. Tell your man to relax and go with the strange feelings to begin with as much as possible. It may not be necessary to insert your whole finger to begin with as the most sensitive nerves are closer to the anus hole. Only when he is comfortable with your finger should you try and insert it further to seek out his prostate. Experiment a little by slowly inserting and pulling your finger out and see how he responds. Of course, he may not be new at this but if you are, go at the pace you feel comfortable with.

Once you are at the stage of full insertion of your finger, then slowly curl the tip upwards so that you are making a ‘come here’ kind of movement. If you are in the correct place, this motion will gently stroke your man’s prostate gland. Don’t be too surprised if he comes just by you stroking this gland. Some men can and will. It’s just a matter of finding out just exactly what your man loves.

Now, how about taking things a step further and try stimulating the gland whilst you perform oral sex on him? Start by stroking the outside of his anus with your finger whilst you suck his penis. If you feel adventurous and you know he’s clean, then use your tongue at the entrance of his anus, too. 

Then, alternate between his testicles, perineum (the spot between his testicles and his anus), anus and penis. Don’t be afraid to try using all methods open to you i.e. your fingers, hands, mouth, lips, tongue, everything!

Guidelines for Prostate Play

1. Make sure that not only are you clean, men but have also been to the loo before hand. Nothing worse than feeling the urge to go when you’re in the middle of a romantic moment! Also, be aware that insertion of a finger or vibe into the rectum can trigger the ‘urge’ reflex. Medical practitioners often use a finger to encourage defecation in constipated patients.
2.  Make sure that if you’re doing the inserting that your fingernails are short and trimmed with no sharp edges. If you’re concerned about this or prefer to have additional barriers then use latex gloves.
3. For easier location of the prostate gland, watch an adult movie or masturbate or indulge in some foreplay. Anything to get you in the mood. As sexual arousal takes place, the prostate gland will swell.
4. Get yourselves into a comfortable position that enables you to have full access to your or his anus.
5. Start on the outside and when your finger is well lubed, gently massage his anus and perineum. Massage it with soft, circular motions then push on the anus to help it relax.
6. When you’re both ready, slowly insert your finger using the pad first. Wait for a minute so that he can used to the feeling of your finger inside of him, and then gradually push it deeper. Try and locate the prostate gland by curling your finger tip up about 2 inches inside of his rectum.
7. Experiment with different methods of touch. Try stroking, pushing gently, pushing it in and then out or massaging it in a circular motion.
8. When you feel comfortable using fingers and are ready for something bigger or harder, try using vibrators that are designed especially for anal play or anal beads. Anal sex toys are usually flared at the base and have a curved tip for stimulation of the prostate gland. They can also have variable speeds of vibration to enable you to get used to the idea softly!

There are many different toys especially for anal sex and play, so when you’re ready to experiment make sure you read the article, Sex Toys for Anal Play for more information about this very special subject!