Changing Sexual Tastes

When you become sexually active and start to experiment, you find out pretty quickly what you like, and what you don’t. And if you’re honest with your partner, then your sex life will go from strength to strength. Honesty is an important part of any relationship, including in the bedroom. It’s important to establish this from the beginning, as this will encourage it both ways, so both partners will speak up when they don’t like something. There’s no need to be embarrassed about this, worded correctly your lover shouldn’t feel bad. It’s not saying anything about their technique, necessarily, it’s just your personal opinion.

But what happens when you establish a mental “list” of things you do and don’t like in bed and your partner has memorised this, and suddenly you change your mind? Perhaps you used to love having your breasts played with, and yet now it just makes you cringe? This works for guys too, maybe you used to love having your nipples played with, and now you think it’s awful?

Well, don’t panic! It’s perfectly normal. It may not feel particularly normal, especially if it’s something you’ve been so used to since you began having sex, but I assure you, it is. Just as when you were younger you probably didn’t like vegetables, and now you do; then the fact you used to love giving oral sex; and now you don’t, isn’t a problem. Unless you make it into a problem.

You must be honest with your partner. It could potentially be more difficult if you have a change of opinion whilst still with the same lover, and they can’t comprehend why a certain sex act used to really get you going, and now it leaves you cold. It’s understandable from their point of view, but they must also make the effort to understand you. They may think it’s because of their technique, and that you think they aren’t particularly good at something. But then remind them that you always used to love it, and it got your juices flowing, but now it doesn’t.

With a new partner, you don’t have to even mention that you no longer liking a certain act is a recent development – they’ll just accept it as part of you and (hopefully) never attempt it again. If they’re eager to please, they’ll simply take it in their stride and make sure they learn lots of new moves to get you all hot and bothered. It’s probably unwise to present them upfront with a list of things you do and don’t like – it might appear a little controlling and put them off. Plus, you can have much more fun experimenting! And maybe something you had gone off will suddenly light your fire again, sometimes a new partner and new technique can make it ever so slightly different, but enough to put it back on your ‘Must Do’ list.

It’s inexplicable as to why sexual tastes do suddenly change – but it’s no different to you changing your mind in other parts of your life. When you were a teenager, perhaps you fancied young, cute and innocent-looking pop stars, whereas now it’s those with more sex appeal and experience that get you going. It’s really no different with your sexual taste.

So really, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s perfectly normal, and if you can accept it as part of growing older and changing, and have the bravery to let your partner know if anything changes, then there’s no reason why it should ever be a problem. Just remember the old cliché, honesty is the best policy, and you won’t go far wrong. There’s nothing worse than being in the middle of some steamy sex then having your “off” button pushed, for both of you! So be upfront and don’t let it happen. Happy experimenting!