The ability to deep-throat: I don’t think it’s something you can divine by looking at a chick. I don’t think the size of a woman’s mouth or the fullness of her lips or the wideness of her eyes can give you a clue into how she feels about wrapping her mouth around your phallus. How frustrating, given that deep-throating is a talent that men seem to appreciate, even one they search out with single-minded purpose.
So how can a fine young fellow find a fetching fellating female? I hope I can help narrow the search.
Some happy cocksuckers like me were born; others were made. And the making takes time; therefore I would urge anyone who wants to date a woman who likes sucking cock to date an older woman. Ben Franklin was a wise, wise man, and his advice on dating older women is as helpful today as it was in 1745 when he wrote it. We women of a certain age know what we like and we aren’t shy about enjoying it. (Although drawing on my own experience, I would suggest to Ben that those who are most grateful are often the younger men, and not the older woman.)
Sadly, the way that women are built by nature and the way that we are made by culture often keeps us from enjoying sex in our full capacities until our thirties. So, if you want to enjoy sex with a woman find a woman who enjoys sex, have sex with an older woman.
Find yourself a nice thirty year-old, or older, woman who wants a younger lover. We abound. We often advertise. We’re looking for you. And more germane to the topic, we know how to get on our knees and worship your phallus like you’re a Roman General. Additionally, what we want from you is often friendship and hott sex, which can often free up the whole emotional brou-ha-ha about the erotic experience.
Moreover, you might learn something in the process. (Two strong reasons for dating a teacher: We like to teach and we have older woman/younger man fantasies. If you’re not jailbait, it’s win/win for everyone.)
Lest we not forget, the woman you are with (or man, actually) can learn too. I was lucky in that I developed in pre-pubescence the ability to suppress my gag reflex (I had Strep throat a lot; I hated tongue depressors; I learned how not to gag when my throat was swabbed. It came in handy). If you want your lover to learn how to deep-throat, or you want to learn yourself, the first thing to do is to be not afraid. The very worst thing that will happen is that the suckee will puke and the mood will be lost.
There are many guides on how to deep-throat. I’ve written one and it’s available here, for free, right now. If you have a lover and you want her—or him—to learn how to deep-throat, gently make your desires known. Do not make your request in terms like these: “Wow! that Jenna Jameson really knows how to cram cock down her throat, gosh, why aren’t you more like her?” Doing so will only make your lover feel inadequate, resentful, angry and insecure. None of these emotional reactions are helpful if you want to get your dick sucked.
It can feel really difficult to make sexual requests. You want to be nice, and you want to be caring, but you also want to get your dick sucked, and these things can feel at odds with each other. So what’s a boy to do?
Begin with a compliment. If you love the way your lover does something, praise her. Tell her you love the feel of her mouth on your skin, your cock, your balls. Begin with praising her to show your appreciation, and then work up to suggesting your lover take more of you in her mouth, or that she uses her mouth and her hands together, or that you’d love it if she could hold you in her mouth just a bit…longer.
Read your lover’s response. If she hauls off in horror, she may not be the girl for you. If she balks initially but seems game enough later, try asking her simply. You might say this: “I’ve always fantasized about being deep-throated, and you are so good at sucking my cock. Could we learn how, together?” A request in these terms is difficult to refuse because it’s honest, caring and cooperative. If you never ask, you’ll never get what you want, but if you ask well, you’re well on your way to finding your cock deep in your girlfriend’s throat.
Some women are reticent to put a cock in their mouths. If this state of reluctance is your woman’s, baby step it. Begin with telling her you love the way she kisses, the way she touches your cock, the shape of her lips. Give her lots of head. Take showers together. Ask nicely. If she refuses, and refuses repeatedly, you may not be compatible. Not all lips were made for sucking, but most boots were made for walking. Walk.
In the end, my advice about sex always comes down to this one word over and over and over again: talk. Talk about it. Talk about what you want. Talk about what makes you feel good and why. And then listen to your partner tell you the same. It can feel very weird and alien to talk about sex, but I promise you on all things sacrosanct that if you and your partner can learn to talk about sex, you can learn to talk about anything.
Talk is not cheap. It’s the most valuable thing you and your partner(s) can do.
Although a well-sucked cock, that’s a good thing too. A very good thing indeed.
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