So you’ve decided to bring toys into the bedroom? Bravo! Well done on having the openness of mind to consider it. I’m sure you won’t regret it. And if you don’t enjoy it, no problem, at least you tried eh? Everyone’s different!
The first thing to take into consideration is your lover. Is he a relatively new lover, or have you been together some time?
If he’s new, then your life may well be slightly easier – in a new relationship you are still discovering each other, your likes and dislikes etc. So mentioning a sex toy shouldn’t be a huge problem, as his opinion of you isn’t yet set in stone. He may of course run for the hills, but hey, that’s his loss. Chances are, if he’s inexperienced with sex toys, he’ll be curious, and because he fancies you so much, he’ll be up for anything.
If he’s used sex toys before, then you’ve even less of a problem because he’ll know exactly what to do! Though of course it’s important that he knows you may not like the same things as his previous lovers… you may want to just use it on yourself while he watches, or you may want him to use the toys on you, or himself. There are so many possibilities. Once you’ve got past the initial introduction stage, the sky’s the limit!
If he’s a little prudish though, and doesn’t like the idea, you might have to persuade him. If you have a toy already, give him the guided tour of its functions and leave him to draw his own conclusions. Hopefully he’ll come round. If you don’t have toys already, all you have to do is visit a few choice Internet sites and he’ll see that perfectly normal heterosexual couples do use aids in the bedroom. It doesn’t make them odd, just naughty. And it’s fab to be naughty! If this doesn’t persuade him, nothing will!
If it’s a partner you’ve been with some time, you may have to tread carefully. If your sex life is pretty colourful, and toys are about the only thing you haven’t done, then it should be pretty easy, but if it’s a little, shall we say, standard, then caution is recommended. As I’m sure you know, many men find sex toys, particularly phallic vibrators to be intimidating. They get it into their heads that these items are a direct replacement for them. What they don’t seem to realise (and any men reading this, take note!) is that a vibrator can’t take you out for dinner, spoil you, kiss you, caress you, push all those buttons a man can, and it certainly can’t cuddle you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear afterwards. If one is invented that can do all these things, then the men should really start worrying!
I do find it odd that men find these things so intimidating. Women are complicated creatures – I’m the first to admit I’m very complicated – and their nether regions often take more than a little persuasion to become aroused, and eventually achieve an orgasm. There are so many different ways to touch a woman, and because we’re all so different, the same technique won’t always work on different women. Whereas to give a man an orgasm, it’s a pretty basic up and down motion on the shaft, and voila! So because a vibrator can stimulate us much faster than our fingers, it’s just the same as a man masturbating, but we’re just using an aid. It’s just to get us off when there’s no man around. You can’t be there every time we’re horny guys, so just rest assured it’s just a machine doing the business until you get home.
Your long term partner may be surprised to say the least on your mention of bringing sex aids into the bedroom. Not necessarily because they’re against the idea, but maybe because you’ve only just mentioned it now. They might have thought about it themselves, but because you’ve never expressed an interest, they didn’t want to. They could also be shocked because they thought you were such a nice girl! Well now’s the time to prove them wrong.
If you do have problems, i.e. your man is really against the idea, then you have to talk it through, and try and explain as I did previously that it’s not a replacement for his willy, it’s an addition, and also you want to use it together, not just alone. If you have a vibrator already, you could show your man in a non-sexual atmosphere, and just show him what it does and how. People are often afraid of things they don’t understand. Once the mystery is gone, hopefully so will be his misgivings. Then hopefully you can introduce it later, in a sexual atmosphere, and let the fun commence!
If your man, either new or long-term is dead set against the idea, depending on how solid your relationship is, you may have to just forget about the idea. Still, there’s nothing stopping you browsing this site and treating yourself anyway, he doesn’t have to know about it does he!?
If, however, you’ve talked him round to the idea, and currently have an empty cupboard, then it’s high time you started filling it up with fun items. The site has an abundance of fun items, ranging from quite tame, to those for people with niche tastes. There’s such a variety here, there is something for everyone.
The rabbit style vibrators are the most popular ones just now, and I can testify as to their greatness (bows). If you’re looking for fun and popular that does the job, go for it. They now come in all different shapes and sizes, smaller ones, quieter ones, bigger ones, waterproof, everything! There are even some with have two sets of vibrating ears, some for your clitoris, and some for your anus, so you’re being stimulated everywhere down there! Whatever floats your boat!
If you want to start smaller and less manhood-threatening, try something that’s not shaped like a penis. There’s so much to choose from, vibrating bullets, ones that attach to your fingers, fit on a cock ring, all sorts. You don’t even have to buy a vibrator of course; a cock ring might give him a bit of a boost (literally, too!), or if you think you might like some bondage, a spanking paddle or whip, nipple clamps… the list is endless. Cast your eye over the categories on this site, look together and decide what you might like to purchase. And may I suggest, don’t always discount the items that look odd, they’re often the most fun! See my reviews on this site for what items are the coolest! Or should I say, hottest?
Don’t forget the added extras, like batteries and lube. There are many different lubes so be sure to get the right one for you, i.e. if you use condoms, make sure it’s water based lube and so on. You can also use lube to give great hand jobs, tit wanks and similar slippery fun. Once you’ve persuaded him to have a look around and see what’s on offer, prise his credit card out of his hand and get adding to that basket! You might not find the right thing for you straight away, but soon enough you’ll have a staple favourite. That’s not to say you’ll use it every time you have sex, but for those extra special sessions, the toys can come up and make orgasms extra explosive, and you’ll want to do it all over again! How can he possibly complain?!
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