Just Sayin' is All: Loving Things to Say to Your Lover

“just sayin' is all: 9 loving things to say to your lover”

Oddly, many people find my blog by searching phrases like “loving things to say” or “sweet things to tell your lover.” In fact, I’d guess between two and five people every day find me by searching these terms. More find me by searching “buttplug,” “pretty skinny pussies” or “deepthroat fat cock cumslut,” but this post isn’t specifically for them. This one is for those of you groping in the great digital darkness for something good to tell your lover..

1) “You’re Beautiful.”

Note that this sentence is not “I think you’re beautiful,” or “you look beautiful in that tank top,” or “you have beautiful eyes.” This sentence is different because its simplicity approaches mathematical fact. It’s as if you’re saying, “The mathematical value of Pi is 3.14 and you’re beautiful.” There’s no arguing with fact.

There is, however, some equivocation in “I think.” The subtext there is one of subjectivity, as in “Other people may not agree with me, but I think you’re beautiful.” There is conditionality in “beautiful in that tank top,” as if out of that tank top, not quite so beautiful. And there is a both equivocation and subjectivity in “your eyes,” as if the other parts are not so nice, but the eyes, oh yeah, they’re dead on. Moreover, women are too accustomed to being broken down into parts. We even do it to ourselves. Don’t play that wholes-into-parts game (exception to follow).

Therefore: You’re beautiful. You may also add an intensifying adverb as in “You are so beautiful,” or “You are very beautiful.” Feel free to play thesaurus. It may be more appropriate to say “gorgeous,” or “exquisite,” or if addressing a guy, “handsome” or “good-looking”

Caveat: stay away from “pretty,” “curvaceous,” or “voluptuous.” “Pretty” is just wan, and women think that the latter two are synonyms for “fat.”

2) “I love you.”

It’s a classic for a reason. No one will die thinking, “My god, I told X I loved him/her way too many times.” Say it loud, say it proud, say it jumping up and down on a couch on Oprah, say it singing, say it whispering, say it often.

3) “I love you when….”

No reason, though, why you can’t tinker with a good thing. This phrase works really well when you can give a long list, but it also works nicely on its own. Take some time and think. When exactly do you feel that hot visceral rush of love for your other? Figure it out, and tell him. Or her. Or, if you’re Swedish, them.

It might sound something like this: I love you when you kiss me. I love you when I hear your voice on my phone. I love you when you’re fresh from the shower. I love you when I look between my thighs and my eyes meet yours. I love you when we share a private joke. I love you when I wake up with you. I love you when we fall asleep tangled like tired bunnies. I love you when you sing 80’s hair band anthems. I love you when you swallow. I love you when you do that thing with the hat.

You figure it out; it’s your love.

Caveat: note that the phrase does not go “I love it when….” Make your Lovee know that it’s the person and not the act you love.

4) “I can’t wait to see you.”

These six words are second only to the magic three (see #2 above). Everyone wants to know that his or her lover is anticipating the time they’ll spend together. Just say it.

You can also, if you want, replace “see” with other active verbs. “Hold,” “kiss,” “touch,” “taste” and “fuck” are also good. Choose the appropriate situation for each verb.

5) “You are the …..”

You are the bomb diggity, bee’s knees, light of my life, love of my life, apple of my eye, calm center in my storm, wind beneath my wings, cream in my coffee, bitch-goddess supreme, the comptroller of Me Inc, the Big Bad, the Aragorn to my Arewyn, the Anne Bancroft to my Mel Brooks…

Whatever. Figure it out and say it. Everyone has downtime, use yours to finish that sentence in creative and meaningful ways.

6) “Your cock is beautiful,” or “I love your cock.”

(Obviously to be said to men or to male gender-identified women only.)

This would be the exception to #1 above. Men love to be complimented on their cocks. They just do. I’m not saying that women don’t love to be complimented on our pussies—we do—but men really love being complimented on their cocks.

If guys have one Achilles heel in their sense of self, it’s their cock. They want you to worship it. Do so.

7) “I remember the (first) time….”

Once more, fill in the blank. We want to know that you remember because remembering is a sign of caring. What memory do you have that really takes your breath away even now? Figure it out and tell your lover.

I remember the first time you kissed me, how you pulled my body into yours and how I collapsed against you. I felt that my body knew you even before I did.

I remember the time we talked on the phone for hours and then finally at 5:00 a.m. you took a cab to come and finish the conversation in person. I thought you were so romantic.

I remember the first time I saw you. I was walking and talking to a friend, and I saw you out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head to look at you and we made eye contact. It was electric.

Again, when you have downtime and a writing utensil, jot it down. Then you’ll be able to say it when you need to. It’s just a practice, really, using your downtime to think of ways to let your lover know how you feel, rather than worrying about what’s happening some place you’re not.

8) “Lover,”  “My Love,” (or some other yummy sobriquet)

I hate the word “partner.” I understand its value and its psychological weight. But I don’t really want a partner; I want a lover. I call my Lover “Lover.” I also call him “Honey,” “Baby,” “Sugar,” “Sweetness,” “My Love” and “Hot Cock.”

I think, though, that “lover” and “my love” can pack a pretty big wallop. Let the person know who he or she is to you by using the word that best encapsulates the relationship.

If you want a loving thing to say, it’s hard to err when you’re using the word itself.

9) “Thank you.”

People often feel underappreciated by their lovers. Let your lover know your appreciation. A simple “thank you” will do. Your lover calls you to remind you that you need to renew your dog's license? Thank you. Your lover gives you exquisite head? Thank you. Your lover takes you out to dinner? Thank you. Your lover texts you something naughty? Text something naughty back, but later say thanks for the text.

Two words with a lot of power. Don’t be sparing.

Take some time today to say thank you to the person you love.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for kissing me when I have morning breath. Thank you for soothing my savage beasts. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for so much, so often, so past, so present, so future.

Thank you, my love, You’re beautiful. That’ll work.