There is a divide in the sex toy market—for the most part, sex toys are provided for women’s pleasure, but marketed in a way that suits men. That is why for many years, you couldn’t find a vibrator in the universe that wasn’t accompanied by a picture of a naked woman. It’s what the boys like. But as marketing and toys have moved on, we’re finding more and more toys are packaged straight for women’s pleasure.
That’s great for us, but where does that leave men? Until recently, men were pretty limited in their toy world to pussy-replicas or toys meant to enhance couple’s play, such as cock rings, extenders, and various bells-and-whistles lubes. As much as I support couples using toys together, I am also generous—I think that for every vibe, dildo, and bullet in my collection, the men should have just as many choices.
But where does the man turn who doesn’t like the look of classic male toys?
Because, let’s not lie—toys like the Fleshlight may feel incredible, but they look slightly…skeevy. They are toys that help you when there isn’t a woman around, but they also…kind of keep women away, too, you know? In the same way that some women don’t like the look of a very realistic dildo, there are plenty of men out there who don’t like the look of pretend-vaginas, mouths, and anuses.
Fear not, Man of Discerning Taste, you are not doomed to a lifetime of sneaking your girlfriend’s vibrator out of the drawer when she isn’t around. I present to you…Toys Whose Appearance Won’t Make You Cringe:
1. Monkey Spanker I love this product. Not only is it discreetly shaped, but it is completely innovative and really…kind of sexy. The inner ring is made out of medical grade silicon and is super soft and stretchy. With the addition of a small vibrator, this is definitely one for the wishlist. As a woman, I gotta say…I wouldn’t mind one bit watching a man use this. Oh, goodness, no
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2. Beaded Stroke Master Using the same principle as the Fleshlight, but without the grisly fake body part look to it and a much smaller price tag, the Beaded Stroke Master has inner beads to increase sensation and has a look that won’t make you shudder to consider someone coming across it. No pun intended, naturally.
3. ClitoFing This is a toy that gives you the best of both worlds. Not only does it add a bit of a difference to your masturbation, but it is a great toy to use on a partner—so even if you buy it for yourself, you can collect bonus points for being a sensitive lover. Changing the sensations is key to good sex, so the bumps and ridges these little sleeves provide are a great change to make.
4. Aneros Eupho Gentlemen, if you haven’t enjoyed prostate stimulation yet, you are really missing out. A prostate-assisted orgasm is a whole new level of sexual pleasure and with the genius-designed Aneros line, you can finally enjoy anal play without a partner or wearing out your wrist. These are made to let your body do all the work for you—insert, lie still, and your inner muscles will take over. It doesn’t hurt that they are so elegantly designed that they look like little pieces of art.
5. Jac Off This is just a simple, fabulous idea for making a subtle change to your self-loving routine. A sheet of silicon lets you experience that feeling of Stranger Hand…it gives you all the technique and dexterity that you already know and love, but changes how you feel in your own hand. Considering how discreet it is, it is well worth having around. For all the men who just can’t face another fake pussy or anus staring at them, take heart. There really are toys out there that can add to your self-fun without making you put up with fake body parts. You just have to have a look around and consider things outside the norm. Which is half the fun of sex anyway…
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