Dear McBirdie continues: Pain-free anal
I’m so sorry that I’ve left the second part to this letter hanging out in the wind for so long, but I’ve had to learn a harsh and real lesson about what happens when one chooses to eat dodgy mushrooms. I won’t bore you with a detailed account when I know you only came here for the good stuff, though.
When we last looked at the letter asking how to have less painful anal, written by a young girl, I was less than enthusiastic about her trying again. As I said then, however, this is mostly down to her age and level of experience–anal is a complex thing and should be treated with care and respect.
That said–it is also a lot of fun, for those who know what they’re doing. So let’s take a look at some things to keep in mind before we spend some time this week looking at products that might set you up for success:
1. Do it with someone you trust. I know, I know, porn makes it look like just the sort of fun to be hand during a one-night stand or random hookup. But, just like with women who can bounce up and down like a pogo stick during sex, porn can sometimes lie. Anal carries more risk than other sexual acts, so you want to do it only with someone whose medical history you know and who you can trust to respect your comfort levels.
2. Take it slow. There is no prize for first-to-finish in this game. If you try it out and it doesn’t feel good, stop and regroup before trying again some other time. Taking it slow also works with the act itself–penetrate slowly, stopping often to allow time for muscles to relax.
3. Consider other positions. While doggy-style might be the most popular position in movies and pictures, consider missonary or woman-on-top if you want to change up who has control or make it a slower, more intimate act. It can be just the ticket if the woman finds anal to be uncomfortably detached or feels like she has no control or input in what happens.
4. Lubricate, then lubricate some more. The old standby comment of “if you think you’ve got too much lube, you’ve nearly got enough” is a standby for a reason–your anus doesn’t produce any of its own lubrications and the skin is terribly thin–if you don’t lube generously, you’re going to tear the skin and leave you open to pain and increased chance of infections.
These are the basics, but check back in the rest of the week to get more detailed, hands-on tips. I’m actually a huge fan of anal when it is well done, so I’m looking forward to pointing you in the direction of a few products and ideas that can make the whole thing that much more successful.
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