Dear Birdie: “Is masturbating okay?”
Dear McBirdie,
I masturbate a lot, but I am only 15…is that okay?
I masturbate about 4 times a week and just can’t stop because I love it! But is it bad for me? Is it going to cause any problems?
Thank you,
Self-Lover
Dear Self-Lover,
The short answer is: “Nope. Not at all.”
The slightly longer answer is: ”Only if you’re doing it in such a way as to cause damage–are you particularly rough with yourself? Vigorous without lubrication? Using dirty toys or food items that aren’t good for you (No lie, I had a friend who had a love for using popsicles–the cold rush is great, but you should be warned that sugar is just about as sure a route to a yeast infection as you can find)?
Or if you’re not able to do other things because of your incessant masturbating–which is unlikely if you’re doing it four times a week. It may make orgasm during sex with a partner slightly more difficult if you use high-powered vibrators exclusively and don’t want to use them with a partner.”
Masturbating is completely natural. Thankfully so, since the majority of people are doing it pretty frequently. Some do it because they have healthy sex drives that aren’t being dealt with through partner-sex, some because they like to relax, some because they’re bored…there are dozens of reasons why people like to masturbate and all of them are pretty much as acceptable as any other.
It’s relatively hard to do yourself a mischief through masturbating. If you aren’t experiencing any pain or discomfort during or after, you’re likely to be quite fine. If you do experience pain or discomfort, try to determine what it is that is causing the pain–for women, that is often a case of being a bit too into it in the moment and not being careful to stay lubed up (no matter what you’re doing, lube makes things better, I promise. Aqua Comfort Lube is one of my favourites because it is multi-purpose and in a pretty enough bottle to leave on the side table). For men, they can get a little rough on themselves. Keep it within the realm of “not tearing skin” and you’re usually okay.
If you do become worried about de-sensitizing yourself because you’re masturbating frequently or with toys, switch to a lighter touch or a different type of toy (something like the Screaming O Honey is ideal because it allows for a lighter, more fluttery sensation and is equally at home when you’re on your own or when you invite someone over). Having many different ways to orgasm will stand you in good stead when you throw a partner into the mix down the line, too.
Enjoy yourself,
McBirdie
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