Dear Birdie: “Why do men act so horribly when they don’t get their way?”
Dear Birdie,
Is it just me or when men don’t get something to do with sex they go in a mood and blame their partner?
My boyfriends likes bum fun; we tried it but it really hurt me. But he doesn’t seem too realise that because of the pain, I don’t want it the same way he does.
He is always texting me asking me for it, then says there is no point since he never gets it. Then he goes into a mood and falls out with me. Is it just me?
T
hanks,
No Fun
Dear Fun,
I wouldn’t generalise it as being something all or even most men do. It is part of growing up to realise that we don’t always get what we want or to understand that to get what we want, we may need to try other tactics that aren’t quite so whiny and childish.
It is also part of growing up to realise that showing your partner respect is more important than throwing a hissy fit. I would be very concerned if my partner were so intent on having his way sexually that he was willing to disrespect my wishes, ignore my discomfort, and put our relationship happiness in danger.
There are all sorts of ways to make anal more enjoyable for both of you, but I would be less inclined–as I rather think you would be–to consider these options considering how little your partner is taking into account your feelings. I would suggest talking to him rationally and calmly about your feelings; if he is unable to understand after that how his actions make you feel, it may be time for you to have a real ponder over the way he engages with this relationship.
If you do find yourself being treated better, however, do spare anal another thought. With a partner who cares about what you’re feeling and takes his time, it can be a real pleasure for both of you.
Best wishes,
McBirdie
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