Dear Birdie: Why do guys like deep-throating?
Dear McBirdie,
Do you know why when you are giving your boyfriend a blowjob they want you to get their penis as far in your mouth as you can? I don’t quite understand it, and hopefully I’m not the only person that has run into this.
Thank you,
Gagging
Dear Gagging,
You’ve probably got about three different reasons going on, depending on the guy.
1. More experience with porn than with real life. In much the same way that porn has led some men to believe that it is completely normal and desirable for a woman on top to do that absolutely insane bouncing action, it has also given men the idea that a blow job should involve a lot of bobbing up and down on their shaft, hitting pretty serious deep throat action. And what men see in porn, they often expect to see in real life–especially when they have less experience with real life blow jobs. While the bobbing action looks hot on camera, it doesn’t always work in real life–the best option is to try some deep throating (only as much as you’re comfortable with it, of course) and counter it with some more-tongue-less-deep-throating action and see which your man prefers in real life.
2. Additional stimulation of being fully encased. Of course, just because it is in porn doesn’t mean that it doesn’t also just feel good. In the same way that you might enjoy a guy to insert his entire cock into you rather than just the tip, so too might you guy like the feeling of his entire penis buried in your mouth. While the majority of nerves are in the head of the penis–meaning that licking the tip incites a more intense reaction than licking the base–that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel good to have a hot, wet mouth covering the whole thing.
3. Domination. There is also an element of control and domination involved in pushing for deep throating during a blow job. When your man grabs the back of your head or pushes you to take more, especially when you’re hearing a bit of raunchy talk going with it, your man might just be getting off on the domination of the more extreme oral. There’s nothing wrong with this so long as you’re having a good time, too–submitting can be just as much of a turn on as dominating, of course–but if it makes you uncomfortable, you may want to talk to him when everyone is wearing pants about what your boundaries are.
It sounds obvious, but let me go ahead and say it: if you want to know why your boyfriend likes something, the best person to ask is him. Have a chat with him when you’re not in bed, so no one feels put on the spot, and see where it takes you. If you know better what he likes and why, you’ll better know what you want to give. And check back later on…I just might offer up some tips on how to overcome some deep throat roadblocks if you’ve been struggling with the technique.
Best wishes,
McBirdie
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