Because my job is all about sex toys and doubly because I am a sucker for a bargain, I am forever looking all around the web to make sure that the best prices are the ones that Gary has on offer.  It isn’t that I don’t trust him, mind, I just like to see for myself.  And I can say quite happily that even if I didn’t work here, I would buy here because his prices are consistently the best in the UK.  

So when I see that he is also a huge clearance sale of 60% off a giant selection of products, you can imagine my glee.  I’ve just been trawling through to see where the particularly great bargains were, when the real magic of the clearance sale occurred to me:  you can finally buy all the absolutely strangest toys out there that you normally wouldn’t want to chance the full price on.  Who knows?  Maybe the weirdest of the toys will end up being the best.  My picks:

1.    Glow in the dark anything is magic in my books, but a glow in the dark vagina?  Glorious magic is found here.  I love that this solves the surely rampant problem of men losing their toys mid-wank in the dark.  Seriously, go picture that.

2.   It’s an Office Fling kit.  An Office Fling kit.  Amazingly tacky, supremely unnecessary, and kind of fabulous.  Can’t you just imagine giving this to one of your collegues anonymously?  Now it’s cheap enough that you can without worrying about your bank balance after you get canned for sexual harassment.

3.  Latex is not so strange.  But I did raise an eyebrow at why someone would want latex shorts.  But even better than that is the description that suggests you go jogging in them.  Let  me promise you right now–anyone who goes jogging in these and can prove it will be reimbursed the purchase price by me personally.

4.    I’m a big fan of harnesses in general, but a clear vinyl one has to be just about the best I’ve seen.  Just imagining the image of my squished up bits is enough to give me more than one giggle.  Doubly great since this is also just a really well-made and useful harness–and see-thru!  See-thru!  How wonderous.

5.    I’ve seen a lot of toys in my time (no, seriously…a lot of toys), but never have I heard about “labia tongs”–which surely makes the “unique” in the description unnecessary.  I can’t quite figure out what goes where or why, other than to figure out that it straps around your waist and the labia tongs can be bent and placed wherever you like (I assume you will like them on your labia), but at this price…I could just about find out.  Right?  Man, I love a clearance sale.

There are lots more treasures to be found, so go forth and be amazed.  At these prices, you can easily satisfy your curiosity and…um…other stuff.  Have fun, peeps.

Want to send me proof of wearing your jogging latex shorts?  Send it to me at mcbirdie@sexshop365.co.uk.